Sunday, October 24, 2010
Time
I feel like i am drowning.. I cant breathe.. I feel moments and time are passing by. Im in a dark room with no way out... I feel Satan working on my family. I want to run outside and scream "LEAVE ME ALONE". Why can it be that easy? "The devil never wins without a fight."
Monday, October 18, 2010
My mind going around in a circle
I have not written since my wonderful vacation in BEAUTIFUL WISCONSIN!! Honestly I have no idea what I want to say or write.. I’m not the best writer.. My grammar is terrible and my spelling is awful. lol
So lately I have been thinking about this thing we call “life” what is it? What is the meaning? I know why I am here.. I am here to learn grow and to return back to my Father in heaven. But I feel like life has passed me by.. I feel like I haven’t lived it.. I have so many regrets but I try not to regret the things I have done because I have learned from them. Back to life.. Not only have I had life in my mind but I have had death also in mind. Long story short a guy got shot and killed at a club here in Lubbock.. He was young 22 it was his birthday weekend… I think to myself man I could have been there.. I use to go to that club all the time.. Why did my father in heaven take a young persons life?? My biggest fear is to dying.. I don’t wanna die young I want to LIVE till im 80!! I think about that weekend and what i was doing the night that all this happen. That weekend I was listening to the Prophet and his counsel. That night I was at a friends house for a girls night.. I know my heavenly father loves me and I love him so much, but some times I wonder if you really listen to me… I am actually ashamed to admit it but I do. I try not to doubt him but it is so hard and I think a of it is Satan.. He wants me to lose my faith and the bond that I have with my heavenly father.
The other thing that has been on my mind is my dad. I love him so much and wish and pray that he will Join the church.. I know he knows it’s true and sometimes want to ask him “why deny what you know to be true?” I guess I don’t because of fear. It saddens me that I don’t have an eternal family. I know one day I will have my own but I would love to have one with my parents..
So lately I have been thinking about this thing we call “life” what is it? What is the meaning? I know why I am here.. I am here to learn grow and to return back to my Father in heaven. But I feel like life has passed me by.. I feel like I haven’t lived it.. I have so many regrets but I try not to regret the things I have done because I have learned from them. Back to life.. Not only have I had life in my mind but I have had death also in mind. Long story short a guy got shot and killed at a club here in Lubbock.. He was young 22 it was his birthday weekend… I think to myself man I could have been there.. I use to go to that club all the time.. Why did my father in heaven take a young persons life?? My biggest fear is to dying.. I don’t wanna die young I want to LIVE till im 80!! I think about that weekend and what i was doing the night that all this happen. That weekend I was listening to the Prophet and his counsel. That night I was at a friends house for a girls night.. I know my heavenly father loves me and I love him so much, but some times I wonder if you really listen to me… I am actually ashamed to admit it but I do. I try not to doubt him but it is so hard and I think a of it is Satan.. He wants me to lose my faith and the bond that I have with my heavenly father.
The other thing that has been on my mind is my dad. I love him so much and wish and pray that he will Join the church.. I know he knows it’s true and sometimes want to ask him “why deny what you know to be true?” I guess I don’t because of fear. It saddens me that I don’t have an eternal family. I know one day I will have my own but I would love to have one with my parents..
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